The Feeling of Home
by JayceeJayne
Summary: I'm terrible at summaries- maybe one day I'll master them. Castiel finds his sense of belonging, only for it to be ripped from him. ('Tis a Destiel ficlet.) Rating will go up later for various reasons that I'd rather not spoil for you. Please read! (Spoilers for season six)Set right after Sammy gets his soul back in season six.


Tucking back his, invisible to human eyes, wings, Castiel stalked into the large bar and searched for the brothers. It had been a couple of months since he had contacted them, being simply too busy trying to take down Raphael and honestly- pissed at Dean for not trusting his judgment.

Sam was playing a very dangerous game, and Castiel supposed he should be there to help the poor human with the more-than broken soul. He located them easily, Dean chatting up a woman- which did _not_ make Castiel want to smite something- and Sam sipping on a beer and watching a game that Castiel had come to know as 'football' distantly.

He sat beside Sam, on the side farthest from Dean.

"Hello," Castiel greeted, startling Sam from his thoughts. He looked surprised to see him, and Castiel smiled softly at that, a small upturn at the corner of his lips. Dean hadn't even turned around, not noticing his presence. It twisted his grace into thorns that only seemed able to snag on themselves painfully at the thought of Dean simply _not caring _enough to turn around. He had prayed to him every night though.. So certainly he hadn't just forgotten about him..?

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><p>Sam cleared his throat, trying to garner Cas' attention again," <em>Hey<em>," he greeted back, adding a little wave for extra measure.

That got the angel's attention," How are you? I apologize for not checking in sooner," the celestial said quietly, voice sincere. Sam didn't know if he should alert Dean to the other's being here… but he assumed that Castiel would have let his older brother know if he wanted him too.

"I've been doing okay, and it's fine. How's the civil war in heaven going?" He asked, actually curious instead of just making small talk. He noticed Castiel's quick glance at Dean, and Sam wondered if there really was a jealous glint in his eye or if it was just his imagination.

"About the same, equal losses on both Raphael's side and mine. However Balthazar says he'll have a plan soon that'll give us a great deal of power," Castiel replied, having looked down at the counter he was leaning on.

Sam heard his name coming from the other side of him," Lemme just tell Sam where I'll be and I'll meet you back there, honey," Dean was saying in his 'womanizer' voice.

Castiel looked up, and Sam swore he could _feel_ the envy rolling off of the angel. That was, until Dean looked over and they both looked ready to disappear. Only thing was, Cas could.

And he did.

Dean swore, running a hand through his hair while the girl cocked her head to the side, having not seen Castiel. "You still wanna come back sweetie?" She asked, fluttering her long lashes that, upon closer inspection, had too much mascara caked on them. His older brother shook his head, and Sam cocked a brow.

The hell?

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><p>He didn't know where he flew to, but as long as it was away from the bar, from <em>Dean and that girl<em>, Castiel couldn't care.

He ended up in a forest, and before he thought about it, the angel punched a tree- causing it to splinter and fall to the ground with a loud groan; branches snapping with the sound far too close to bones breaking for his liking. His wings curled about him as he sat on the stump with a sigh, and thunder crackled above him.

Why did he _care?_ Dean and he didn't have a physical nor relationship, but the angel still couldn't help but to feel lost when he wasn't around the human.

Tonight was supposed to be good. After so long of not having that comfortable sense of _home_ that Castiel should only feel in Heaven, he had looked forward to the sensation when he sat beside Dean. Only to find out that his place had been taken by some flimsy human girl, who, admittedly, had a better body than his human vessel. He paused at that- was that what self-consciousness felt like? Emotions were unsettling, he declared mentally with a frown.

However at the moment, all Castiel could feel was numbing _sadness_. And there was only one reason that could make sense. They had a _bond_ and even though Dean couldn't feel it, Castiel certainly could. Whenever he was away for longer than a few weeks, there was this incessant tugging sensation, pressing him to find Dean. To be close to him for at least a few moments. The longer he stayed away, the harsher, more noticeable, the tugging was.

It was hell. However Cas wouldn't trade it for anything, simply for the fact that it _was Dean_ on the other side of the link. It was him _missing_ Castiel, and the bond letting him know that his counterpart was upset. Right now, Dean's soul was a mess, Castiel couldn't fathom _why_. He had a beautiful (_human_, his mind supplied scathingly) girl waiting on him, so why was he upset? Dean hadn't told Castiel about any feelings toward him, and Castiel hadn't either- knowing it'd all be rather futile while he was so preoccupied anyway, and could ruin the one person he'd trust completely with his life's relationship with him.

_Cas.._ The prayer came softly, caressing his mind and grace just as he heard Raphael chuckling behind him.

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><p>Dean felt himself freeze when his eyes met electric blue, and he'd know those eyes anywhere. How long had he been there? How much had he heard? Dean wanted to ask, but all he could do was stare- an eternity finding its way into a few seconds before suddenly, Cas was gone. The girl looked offended, not understanding why he was suddenly unwilling to go back with her, but Dean couldn't care.<p>

Cas had looked _hurt_. Not psychically either. Why had him chatting up a girl hurt the angel? Dean could only think of one reason, and that reason slapped him rather rudely in the face.

Castiel _cared_ about him, and not just as friends, from what Dean was gathering here.

The only question was, did he care about Cas like that?

Sam was talking, Dean realized, so he looked up at him. "Why didn't you _tell me_ Cas showed up?" He asked snappily, glaring at his younger brother.

The other shrugged," I figured you were busy, and he would have talked to you if he wanted to. What'd you do to him, anyway?"

It was his turn to shrug," I guess he was pissed that I didn't listen to him about getting your soul back. Hell if I know. I've gotta take a leak," Dean got up, ignoring Sam's annoyed _Dean_ and not even glancing back to catch the bitch-face.

Leaning against the wall, he sighed, and prayed. _Cas… man come back. I didn't know you were there. It's been months._

No answer.

Shit.

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><p><strong>Author Notes:<strong> Leave a review and tell me what you think! I'll be continuing this soon. :3


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